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The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. Let's talk about ways to enrich your life.

Transform Your Life with Expert Therapy & Coaching

Available in-person in Sandbach, Cheshire, or online from anywhere

About Lavinia May

The Heart of My Work

I believe relationships are where we do our most important living. They're where we learn about ourselves, test our capacity for connection, and discover what we're truly made of. And when relationships struggle, everything else struggles too.

For over 14 years, I've sat with couples in their most vulnerable moments - when communication has broken down, trust has been shattered, or intimacy feels like a distant memory. I've witnessed the moment when partners who thought they were done suddenly see each other again. I've watched people learn to speak a language their partner can actually hear. I've seen relationships not just survive, but transform into something neither person thought possible.

This work isn't just my profession. It's my calling.

Where the Journey Began

I didn't set out to specialise in couples therapy. Like many therapists, I began my career working broadly across different presenting issues, but something kept drawing me back to relationship work. I was fascinated by the invisible dynamics between two people - how love and resentment could coexist, how the same argument could repeat for years, how two people could be desperate to connect yet feel completely alone.

I realised that beneath most individual struggles - anxiety, depression, loss of identity - there was often a relational component. Our relationships shape us. They mirror our deepest fears and our greatest hopes. And when we heal our relationships, we often heal ourselves in the process.

So I dove deeper. I sought out specialised training in couples therapy, studied attachment theory, communication patterns, and the neuroscience of connection. I became fascinated by the paradoxes of intimacy: how we long for both security and passion, autonomy and closeness, stability and excitement. I learned that the best couples therapy doesn't just "fix problems" - it helps partners understand the deeper emotional needs driving their conflicts.

My Approach: What Makes Our Work Together Different

I See the Relationship as My Client

When couples come to see me, I'm not there to take sides or decide who's "right." I'm there to understand the dance you're doing together - the patterns that keep you stuck, the unspoken needs beneath the arguments, the ways you've both been hurt and how you've hurt each other.

My role is to create a space where both of you feel seen, heard, and safe enough to be vulnerable. Because that's where the real work happens.

I Go Beyond Surface Solutions

Many couples come in wanting to "communicate better" or "stop fighting so much." And yes, we'll work on those things. But I'm more interested in what's underneath. Why does this particular issue trigger such strong reactions? What are you really asking for when you criticise your partner? What childhood wound is getting activated in this moment?

When we address the deeper emotional dynamics, surface problems often resolve themselves.

I Believe in Your Relationship's Potential

I've worked with couples who were certain they were done. Couples who hadn't had a meaningful conversation in months. Couples where betrayal felt insurmountable. And I've seen many of them not just survive, but create something more honest, more connected, and more resilient than what they had before.

I don't believe every relationship should be saved - sometimes separation is the healthiest choice. But I do believe that with commitment, courage, and the right support, transformation is possible.

Who Do I Work With

Couples

Find Out More

Individuals

My Background & Credentials

14+ Years of Clinical Experience
I've worked with hundreds of couples and individuals, across diverse backgrounds, relationship structures, and presenting issues.

NCPS Accredited Psychotherapist
I maintain the highest professional standards and engage in ongoing supervision and training.

Specialised Training in Couples Therapy
I've pursued advanced training specifically in relationship dynamics, attachment theory, and evidence-based couples interventions.

Trauma-Informed Practice
I understand how past experiences shape present relationships and work with sensitivity to trauma responses.

Insurance Accepted
Registered with Bupa, Aviva, WPA, and Vitality Health for clients with insurance coverage.

Why I Do This Work

I do this work because I've seen what's possible. I've sat with couples on the brink of divorce who, six months later, tell me they feel more connected than ever. I've watched partners learn to hold space for each other's pain instead of defending against it. I've seen people discover parts of themselves they'd forgotten existed.

Relationships are hard. They're messy. They ask us to be braver and more honest than we often want to be. But they're also where we experience our deepest sense of belonging, our greatest growth, and our most profound healing.

The modern ideology of love is compelling - we expect our partners to be everything: best friend, passionate lover, co-parent, financial partner, emotional support. It's a lot. No wonder so many relationships buckle under the weight of these expectations.

My job is to help you navigate this terrain with honesty, compassion, and practical tools. To help you understand what's realistic to expect, what's worth fighting for, and what patterns are keeping you stuck.

My Values

Honesty Over Niceness
I'll be compassionate, but I won't let you stay comfortable in patterns that aren't serving you. Real change requires real honesty.

Curiosity Over Judgment
I approach every couple with genuine curiosity about their unique story, free from assumptions about what "should" work.

Agency Over Passivity
Therapy isn't something I do to you - it's something we do together. You're not broken; you're capable. My job is to help you access that capability.

Long-Term Transformation Over Quick Fixes
I'm not interested in band-aid solutions. We're here to create lasting change, and that takes time, commitment, and courage.

Inclusivity & Respect
As a member of the LGBTQ+ community myself, I understand what it means to feel misunderstood. All identities, orientations, and relationship structures are welcome here.

Beyond the Therapy Room

Outside of my clinical work, I'm a person who values connection, growth, and staying grounded. I'm fascinated by the evolving nature of modern relationships - how cultural shifts, technology, and changing gender roles impact how we love and commit.

I believe in the power of continuous learning, which is why I stay immersed in research, attend conferences, and regularly engage in supervision and peer consultation. The field of couples therapy is constantly evolving, and I'm committed to bringing the most current, evidence-based approaches to my clients.

I also understand the importance of balance. I can't pour from an empty cup, so I prioritise my own wellbeing - through time in nature, meaningful relationships, and creative pursuits that keep me inspired and present for this work.

Let's Talk

If you've read this far, something about this approach resonates with you. Maybe you're ready to do the work. Maybe you're still unsure. Either way, I'm here.

I offer a free 15-minute consultation where we can talk about what's happening in your relationship and whether I'm the right fit to help. There's no pressure, no sales pitch - just an honest conversation about whether we should work together.

Book Your Free Consultation
📞 07497 845575
📧 laviniatherapy@gmail.com

In-Person: Sandbach, Cheshire
Online: Throughout the UK