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Conditioned Beliefs: Understanding the Impact of Our Past


How Our Childhood Experiences and Society Shape Our Perspectives
Conditioned Beliefs: Understanding the Impact of Our Past


In our society, a pervasive notion is often referred to as the “Big Lie”—the belief that our upbringing and societal influences do not significantly shape who we are today. While many acknowledge the impact of these factors, they often underestimate their effects, thinking they are minimal. The truth, however, is that by the time we reach adulthood, we’ve established patterns of behaviour that dictate our reactions to life’s challenges. Those around us largely influence our belief systems and attitudes. 


Each of us reacts differently to challenges; some may shut down, while others respond with anger, anxiety, or even excitement. These diverse reactions stem from our unique conditioning—the learned responses we adopt based on our experiences.


The Power of 45%


So just how significant is this conditioning in shaping our current narratives? Research indicates that a staggering 45% of our daily behaviours are habitual and often occur in the same contexts. Studies (Quinn & Wood, 2005; Wood, Quinn, & Kashy, 2002) reveal that nearly half of our daily actions are performed on autopilot, triggered by environmental cues. 

When we operate in this autopilot mode, the prefrontal lobe—the part of our brain responsible for critical thinking and problem-solving—essentially shuts down. To change our narratives, we must wake up and become aware of our conditioning. 


Consider this: if you grew up hearing your parents express their dissatisfaction with work every day, you might find yourself doing the same without even realizing it. Would you actively seek solutions to this negativity? Likely not, as you’ve been conditioned to see it as normal. This highlights the importance of self-reflection in uncovering these automatic behaviours and beliefs.


By examining how much of our behaviour originates from external influences rather than our own thoughts, we can let go of beliefs that no longer serve us. This reflection allows us to embrace a more authentic mental state and live a life aligned with who we truly are and how we want to live.


Conditioning can be understood in various ways, but at its core, it reflects the cumulative impact of past influences on our lives, including stored emotions and learned responses. Understanding our conditioning is crucial because it shapes our foundational perspective on life, emotions, and behaviours. It influences how we perceive our stories and what we believe should be part of them, ultimately affecting our reactions, thoughts, and daily actions.


Learned Helplessness

When individuals repeatedly encounter negative situations that feel beyond their control, they can develop a mindset known as ‘‘learned helplessness'‘. This often occurs when we find ourselves stuck in a job we dislike, feel trapped in a tumultuous relationship, or face severe financial hardships. 


In these scenarios, we may cease to seek change, adopting the belief that we cannot alter our futures. Consequently, we may overlook opportunities for improvement, even when those around us present alternatives, because our conditioning has led us to doubt their validity.


Good News!


The encouraging news is that our conditioned responses do not dictate our future.

1. Awareness: The first step is to recognize that we are merely reacting based on our programming.

2. Exposure: Next, we need to expose ourselves to new possibilities that allow our unconscious minds to see that alternatives exist. This can interrupt our conditioned responses as they arise.

3. Replacement: Finally, we can replace our habitual reactions with more desirable responses and take meaningful steps toward implementing these new possibilities.

Transforming these conditioned responses takes time, just like the original conditioning process. It’s essential to practice patience and celebrate small victories along the way.


Remember, you hold the power to change that 45% of your life. Imagine the incredible possibilities that could unfold if you redirected all that autopilot time into a narrative that truly resonates with your aspirations.


Reflection Questions:


- What beliefs have I unconsciously adopted from my upbringing or environment?

- How do these beliefs influence my reactions to challenges?

- What steps can I take to interrupt my automatic responses and embrace new possibilities?

- In what ways can I celebrate my small successes as I work toward change?



 

Thank you for joining me on this journey toward deeper understanding and growth. Remember, the path to a fulfilling life starts with embracing your true self and daring to live authentically. As a therapist and life coach, my mission is to empower you to break free from old patterns, nurture your well-being, and create the life you truly desire.


You hold the power to transform your experiences and shape your destiny. Trust in your strength, honour your uniqueness, and take bold steps toward your dreams. Your journey is yours to shape, and every step you take is a step toward a more vibrant and fulfilling life.


With gratitude,

Lavinia

Therapist & Life Coach

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