Reclaiming Movement in Midlife

-

For Anyone Tired of Forcing Themselves to Exercise

I’m delighted to share this collaboration with Claire Moore, author of ‘It’s Ok To Wobble: Midlife health & happiness no diets required.’ ✨ Claire’s insights on reclaiming movement beautifully align with the work I do in therapy, particularly around self-compassion and breaking free from punishing inner narratives.

What struck me most about Claire’s piece is this idea: that we learned early on to see movement as discipline - a way to keep ourselves “in line.” Exercise became wrapped up in guilt, comparison, and the idea that our bodies were projects to fix, rather than homes to care for. 🏡💛

This is something I see so often in my work with women - the exhausting burden of self-criticism, the belief that we must constantly be “fixing” ourselves. Claire’s message offers a different path forward, one rooted in kindness rather than punishment.

I hope you find her words as empowering as I do. 🌱 This is the first of what I hope will be many collaborations this year, as I expand my work to bring you different voices and perspectives on wellbeing, self-compassion, and reclaiming what truly supports us.

---

So here we are again, another January

Suddenly we’re surrounded by demands to be better, smaller, more disciplined. The “new year, new me” noise is everywhere - in our inboxes, on our screens, in conversations that tell us over and over again we need to fix ourselves.

But many midlife women don’t need another challenge or detox. They’re already tired. They’re already doing their best. What they need isn’t more pressure - it’s a kinder way forward.

And that’s why this January; I want to talk about movement differently.

Jane Fonda. The Green Goddess. Legs, bums and tums. Endless cardio.

If you’re anywhere near my age, you grew up with a lot of very skinny people telling you how to get skinny.

For so many women, exercise has carried the same message for decades:

Burn off what you just ate.

Burn off what you’re going to eat.

If it doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t work.

We learned early that movement was a form of discipline - a way to keep ourselves “in line.” Exercise became wrapped up in guilt, comparison, and the idea that our bodies were projects to fix, rather than homes to care for.

Then midlife arrives. Busy, emotional, full of change. And suddenly that old, punishing approach to exercise doesn’t just feel unappealing - it feels impossible.

What once felt tough now feels exhausting.

After fifteen years of coaching midlife women, I’ve learned this: movement was never meant to be a punishment. It was meant to be enjoyable. Supportive. Something that adds to your life, not drains it.

Midlife gives us a powerful invitation to reclaim exercise - no longer as a way to shrink ourselves, but as something that strengthens us from the inside out.

Physically, mentally, emotionally. Movement that works with your life, not against it.

Diet culture didn’t just tell us what to eat - it taught us how to feel about ourselves.

It taught us that our worth could be measured in calories burned, classes completed, or whatever number flashed up on the scales that morning. That doing more somehow made us better. More disciplined. More deserving.

Life shifts - and the pressure stacks up. Caring for family, ageing parents, menopause symptoms, career changes, relationship shifts, emotional overload. And suddenly that old narrative feels even heavier.

I hear women say things like:

“I should be doing more.”

“I’ve let everything go.”

“I’ll start again on Monday… properly this time.”

“I used to be able to do so much more.”

But underneath those words is something deeper - the belief that they’re failing.

And when you carry that belief, movement stops feeling like support. It becomes another thing to tick off a never-ending to-do list. Another obligation. Another reminder of what you think you’re not doing well enough - instead of something that helps you feel stronger, steadier, and more like yourself.

Midlife isn’t the end of anything. It’s the shift into a wiser, more grounded version of ourselves.

It’s the chapter where many women finally start asking different questions:

What do I actually want?

How do I really feel?

What would support me right now?

And that applies to movement too.

Instead of asking, how much do I have to do? More helpful questions become:

What kind of movement would feel good today?

What helps calm my mind?

What supports my joints, energy, and mood?

When we let go of the idea that exercise has to be intense, punishing, or perfect, we make space for something else entirely. Movement becomes nurturing and even fun.

And that’s when it starts to work - not just for our bodies, but for our whole lives.

It becomes less about discipline and more about partnership - working with your body instead of constantly fighting against it.

And when movement shifts from self-criticism to self-care, something really amazing happens. Confidence grows. Mood lifts. Stress softens. Your relationship with your body becomes kinder. Not because you’ve transformed yourself - but because you’ve stopped punishing yourself.

Gentle Ways to Begin Reclaiming Movement

These are the small, compassionate steps I encourage my clients to take - ways of easing movement back into life so it feels welcoming, not overwhelming:

1. Start with what feels good, not what you think you “should” do. 

Enjoyment builds consistency far better than guilt ever will.

2. Think “little and often” instead of “all or nothing.” 

A ten-minute walk counts. A few stretches count. Everything counts. Consistency will always beat intensity.

3. Tune in to how movement affects your mood. 

After moving, ask yourself:

Do I feel calmer? Clearer? More capable? Let your internal experience guide you, not external rules.

4. Celebrate effort, not outcomes.

Your body is navigating hormones, stress, sleep changes, and real life. Showing up at all is an achievement.

5. Choose movement as support, not self-correction.

When you remove the punishment mindset, movement becomes a gift you give yourself - not a debt you’re repaying.

The Heart of It All

When we reclaim movement in midlife, something shifts that goes far beyond fitness.

We feel stronger in our decisions.

Kinder towards ourselves.

More connected to who we are now.

More confident in who we’re becoming.

Because the truth is this:

We might wobble sometimes - but we are not fading away.

Midlife isn’t a time to shrink.

It’s a time to take up space, feel strong, and move in ways that support the woman you are today.

Claire Moore

Author of ‘It’s Ok To Wobble: Midlife health & happiness no diets required.’

---

My Reflections

Reading Claire’s words, I’m reminded of the countless conversations I’ve had with women who carry the weight of “should” - who believe they’re failing simply because they can’t maintain the punishing standards they’ve internalised over decades.

The shift Claire describes - from self-correction to self-care, from punishment to partnership with our bodies - mirrors the therapeutic journey many of my clients undertake. 💫 It’s about unlearning the idea that we must earn our worth through discipline, and learning instead that we are deserving of kindness simply as we are.

What makes this particularly powerful in midlife is the opportunity it presents. After years of trying to shrink ourselves, physically and emotionally, midlife invites us to ask: what if I stopped fighting my body and started listening to it? What if movement wasn’t about fixing myself, but about caring for myself? 🌸

This is just the beginning of a new chapter for my practice. Throughout this year, I’ll be collaborating with practitioners and voices like Claire’s who share this compassionate, grounded approach to wellbeing. Because healing - whether physical, emotional, or both - happens not through force, but through gentleness.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on Claire’s article. What resonated with you? What would it mean to reclaim movement - or anything else - in your own life? 💭

---

Thank you for taking the time to read this newsletter. I hope it offered something useful or thought-provoking for your day. If you found it helpful, I’d really appreciate it if you shared it with someone who might benefit from it too. It’s a simple way to show care and support for those around you.

Really glad to have you here - see you next time!

With gratitude,

Lavinia

Psychotherapist & Curious Human