Scheduling Sex: Cringe or Smart? A Modern Guide to Intimacy with Kids and Careers

-

Let’s be honest — when someone suggests scheduling sex, your first instinct might be to cringe. 😬“Sorry love, can’t do Friday — I’ve pencilled in pasta and passion.” It doesn’t exactly scream romance, does it?

But hear me out. If you’re juggling work deadlines, the school run, after-school clubs, parents’ evenings, a social life (lol, what’s that?), and still trying to maintain some sort of intimacy with your partner… maybe putting it in the diary isn’t so ridiculous after all. 📅🍆

The Myth of Spontaneity

We’re fed this idea that sex should always be spontaneous — a smouldering look across the room, clothes flying, the baby conveniently asleep for once…In reality? One of you is wearing mismatched socks, the other’s elbow-deep in a nappy bin, and your “smouldering look” is just squinting because you forgot your glasses. 🤓

When life gets full (and it will), spontaneity starts to look a lot like “maybe next week.”

Why Scheduling Might Just Save Your Sex Life

Before you roll your eyes, here’s why scheduling sex might actually be smart — not sad:

• Anticipation builds excitement 🔥 — knowing something’s planned can get you in the mood ahead of time.

• No more missed connections — you’re not hoping the stars align; you’re making them align.

• Intentional intimacy — making space for each other sends a message: you matter to me.

• It removes pressure — no more waiting for the “perfect moment” (which often never comes).

Think of it like booking a gym class. You could just randomly do a workout when you feel like it… or you could book it in, show up, and thank yourself after. Same goes for intimacy. (Bonus: no sweaty spin bike involved 🚴‍♂️).

What It Looks Like in Real Life

No, it doesn’t have to be as formal as a Google Calendar invite titled “Get Lucky 🍀.” (Unless you’re into that — no judgement.)

It might look like:

• Saturday mornings before the kids are up and CBeebies is doing its job 📺

• A cheeky early night on a Wednesday while you leave the washing for Future You 🧺

• A lunchtime “meeting” while working from home 😏

The point is: you're creating space, not pressure.

But Isn’t That... Unromantic?

Here’s the thing: there’s nothing sexy about feeling disconnected.And there’s nothing unromantic about prioritising your relationship.

Scheduling intimacy doesn’t kill the mood — neglect does. Think of it as giving your relationship a well-earned top-up, like charging your phone before it hits 1%. 📱❤️

Takeaway: Scheduled ≠ Boring

If your calendar includes dentist appointments, Zoom calls, and supermarket deliveries, it’s not weird to give your sex life a time slot too.

In fact, it might be the smartest move you make for your relationship this year.

So next time you glance at the calendar, maybe you’ll see a little heart emoji and think, “Ah yes… Thursday night. Batteries included.” 😏💕

Scheduling sex isn’t cringe — it’s a conscious choice to stay connected in a busy world. Make time, make eye contact, make love (even if it's pencilled in between bedtime stories and bin day). ❤️🗓

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post! If you found it helpful, I’d be incredibly grateful if you’d consider sharing it with others—it’s a small gesture that means a lot. Thank you for being here!

With gratitude,

Lavinia

Therapist & Life Coach